Saturday, July 17, 2010

Being that helpmeet

I woke this morning after my children slept all night long. This is Jolenes second night of straight through sleeping. This is also my x times week that I have woke to my husband making me feel smaller than an ant. He is so stressed and crabby and then I see him I try to go to the other side of the house or downstairs. Everything I make is not want he wants or he doesnt have this pair of shorts to wear or he cant find this and etc... I cant do anything right for him right now. I cry everyday when he leaves because the stress can only build for so long. In 3 small years we have sold our house, moved in with my parents, bought a new house,moved into it 3 weeks before I gave birth to Jolene, are building a new house and added 3 new beautiful babies to our family. Yes I have had 3 babies in 3 years and my body feels every bit of that. My husband doesn't talk about anything to me. I know if he did he wouldn't be so stressed. we aren't that close. He still has a big wall in front of him that NO one gets through. Its ok I have manged this far right?But the tension he has is so hard to be around. Its like walking on egg shells. All of us are feeling the effect of his hard work. Now everything in my body wants to yell at him and even throw a cup or 2 his way. Id even like to throw a plate of food at him because I spend 2 hours every night making him a big meal he usually likes only to have him say something about it. But thats not what a helpmeet is. I dont raise my voice or show any kinda of sadness his way. I smile and cut watermelon for him, I stay up extra late to wash his shorts and t-shirts he likes to wear. I drive his lunch out to him so he doesnt have to leave in the middle of working. I run drinks out to him when he is thirsty. I do what ever I can do to make it work. NO one said marriage was easy. People who go through this would walk away and say no thank you. Thats not what the bible says to do.we as helpmeets are to honor and obey our husband.By our faith and our love for them shows them just how much love we really have for them. " A wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands"( proverbs 14:1) " Wives,submit yourselves unto your own husbands,as unto the Lord.For the HUSBAND is the head of wife,even as Christ is the head of the church:and he is the saviour of the body.Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ,so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything"(Ephesians5:22-24) I have to remind myself over and over again not to yell back not hit him when thats what I want to do :) But him seeing me be kind to him and still doing what he asks he is seeing the good. I pray for him everyday and I pray over him when he sleeps. I have to remind myself this is alot to do and handle at one time for him. This shall pass Im sure.

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