The short and sweet update

Its always amazing when I log onto my blog and the date of my last blog. Life with the natives is always in full swing and they tend to only stop when sleeping. We have been busy living life and walking along with Jesus. This year for the Feast days was by the far the best ones we have done.WHY? Because we didn't worry about messing up or if that was weird. We all enjoyed it, even the husband. The Sukkot was awesome. Hannah stepped right up and got the littles involved in making paper chains and hanging then in the sukkot. We hung beautiful white lights above us. The food we made was amazing. We can say we had to sit awhile before we moved much :) We were sad to see the feast days come to an end but super excited for the new year. The Lord has been blessing us and we are listening.
 So much has changed and not by me demanding it to, but it just happened. We are happier than ever and really sucking up what we can. Hannah and myself back in July, got baptized together! Talk about the amazing day that was!! Family and friends came out to watch and embrace God. We had a nice lunch back at home with friends and family afterwards. Chase and Ethan asked God to save them and accepted Jesus as their personal savoir!! It has truly been an amazing year! There have been lows as well, but the thing with disappointments is that just like the highs you have to really embrace them. They change who you are and teach you something. Its not always easy and im still working on a few. Its Gods plans so hold on for the ride.
 Homeschooling is still in full force. Its called life. This year Cody is such a man. I cant tell you how proud of him we are. He is a young man who would honestly give you the clothes off his back if he thought for a second you were cold or needed them. He wouldn't think twice about it. He is child that is really waking up to the Lord and listening. He is a child who would rather be lost in the woods than inside. Just like his momma :)
 Hannah has blossomed into this young woman who really makes us grown women look pitiful! She understands the bible like  she was Jesus's sidekick. Really! She sees things in a different light than me and I love gong to her and asking what she thinks about this verse or that verse. God gave her a gift or drawing and painting. She has been busting rear to get ready for a craft fair with my mom. My mom is crafty so they are like to two peas in a pod. I have not one crafty bone in my body! She is saving for an SUV. We wont let them have cars because they are small and we live in an area where 4x4 is needed to get out in winter.
 The 4 littles, well they are our natives and keep us running. RUNNING. They are are loud,sweet,muddy,excited,lovers,crazy,snugglers,goons,brats,full on love you and I wouldn't change that at all. They are growing like weeds. Laura Beth just turned 3!!! My baby is 3!! How did that happen?? im still trying to figure out how the heck time wants fast...
 Jeff is busy working time and long hours. At least he is home with us and not out of state. We have a lot of projects on here on the homestead. We have a pond to dig, rooms to build, a wood stove to put in, a garage to into a family/school area, solar panels to put up nut that wont be until maybe spring, and oh yes raise the natives. Never a dull moment here.
 Well friends that the short and sweet up date of the homestead. The goat and sheep are doing wonderful. Im getting more chickens today and in the next few weeks. I had a fox come through and repeatedly take and kill my flock. I lost almost 50 out of my flock!!

The heart of a Child

There is many different learning styles.No one is the same only because that would make my job to easy. The one thing all my kids do have in common is that they hate text books. They hate a planned out text book that will take them a whole month to read through the one chapter that the said text book has planned. Why spend a whole month on ONE chapter. It doesn't make sense to us. Every year I go to the Homeschool expo. Every year I find amazing books. Every night when I get back from homeschool expo, I look at the books more and say to myself" Why on earth did I buy this." Last year I did really good and went with what I knew the kids would love. I didn't buy a set curriculum so to say. At least at the expo. I did how ever buy My Fathers World for 1st and CtG. We love My Fathers World because it teaches the kids about the biblical feast which a huge in our house. Ill continue to by MFW for this reason. We do not use it the way the planner is writing. We just read the books and do the awesome worksheets because the kids want to. What I'm trying to get at here is that I don't make my kids use texts books for learning just because that's how the world says to learn. I think not. We learn more by experiencing the world than sitting and sitting and not doing what our minds want to do. My daughter wants to be writer. So she works on English and studies many different author's to understand their writings. Why would I waste her time with geometry when that's not something she will need? My oldest son wants to be a farmer. Well why would I make him waste his time on English Lit if that doesn't help out in the field. He is 12 and can run a farm like a 45 year old man. He is pretty amazing. My job is to give these kids everything they need to succeed to what ever they want to do. My little Indians play in mud until it crusts on their butts and they want to come in. That is their learning. Yes, they do sit at the sat table and work on bible work because that's important to us. We READ ALOT aloud. Man the stuff they learn from us reading to them while they play on the floor is absolutely amazing! Ethan I'm pretty is going to be our preacher. He is pretty neato. All y kids did inherit my sensory issues. I love all gooey goodness. I think that's why I love mud so much. If theres a mud fight outside you can bet I'm in the middle of it. No learning has to be the same. Enjoy the style you kids have and go with it.
 Chases birthday is on the 18th of this month.He will be 6!!! Oh my 6! He has been counting down the day for almost 2 weeks now. He is learning to count backwards from that ;) He is wanting a

teddy bear hamster. Im praying Petco has some otherwise he might be a sad kid. If they don't have one then he said a genie pig will work :) He is wanting a Cardinal bird on his cake also. Im not crafty with cake so Ill be calling that one in.
 Well I must go. I was wanting to look online for some Montessori things for the littles. Wish me luck ;)

Oh I do blog.....

Man time slips by so fast as I get older. Having half a dozen kids will do that I guess.I sure miss blogging. I miss writing our memories down and looking back. We will see if I can do better this year, maybe.....
 This new year has started with my eyes wide open to many things. One thing I have found is that over the years I have stressed over stuff in my house and kids that I never had before. Things changed when the husband took work out of state and it left me home not only pregnant on my own but with a huge amount of kids I had to raise on my own. Not to mention a house we just built and I had to care for the house by myself. It was hard. everyday I fell apart a little more. I felt alone and the stress was just so over whelming. I hide from that pain for about a year and half and then it slowly started coming out. As anger. To everyone. I hated being a wife, a mother, a friend, a daughter, a sister. I hated every thing that meant something to me.Why? Because I didn't have my other half here. The husband and I are polar opposites. EXTREM opposites. That's what makes us work. When we got together I was a free feeling do what I want go every where kind of mom and person. Up until he left for work. Then I was craving more of what people had and how they ran their house. I tried to be how they were so that maybe my stress would go away. That only made it worse.Blah blah blah move up to this past year since husband has been home. My anxiety got the better of me and it scared the living tar out of. I will never forget sitting in the ER bed with my mom next to my side. I was crying and wanting nothing more than to nurse my baby and see my kids play. I was so scared for my life and not knowing what was coming next. It took me a few months after that to really seek the Lord and ask questions. As I still struggle a lot of stress over crap that is of this world, I know I have to let it go. My job as a parent is to make sure my kids have a pure love for Jesus and treat people like they would Him. Yes I'm a homeschooler who loves my house and love taking care of it. BUT I refuse to that suck up my time with my kids and family. I refuse to let my living room floor cause me to yell at kids. I can always pick up a room, do laundry or dishes. I cant how ever take back my yelling at my OWN kids over something so stupid.My husband tells me I bark at every body all the time. I tells me I'm a mean woman. I can see that. I need to relax. As I write this and I know I will have many comments in my inbox, this doesn't mean my kids don't have chores. Yes they have chores and they are expected to do when told. They wear chore packs so I don't have to remind every minute. Im just saying I don't have to yell or flip out on them when things aren't done.
 School is another thing. As my other homeschooling friends know, no day ever looks the same. Im cool with that. If it did that would be boring and no learning would happen. I have a right to teach to my kids ANY WAY I want. No one or government will take right from me. We can go months with out touching a school book. If you aren't a homeschooler don't try to understand how we work because more than likely you will get mad or confused. we don't have to explain anything on how we roll around here. Theres times I feel like im not doing enough "school" and try to "get caught up" what ever that means. But the only thing im doing there is letting that outside world come into mine. Again with saying that NO that doesn't mean my kids get to have all this timeto go where ever someone wants them. It means we live life like a big book. We learn by life. We do outings to many different places. We grab life and run. As long as my kids are living life to shine for Jesus and witness to people, Im one happy momma! I know for not only homeschoolers but for a lot of people they crave what everybody else is up to. Thanks to facebook :) Sometimes I feel like I have to hide from people to feel ok with how I do things. Not really anymore. I know I have always been weird, which is cool because normal is weird to mean. As I continue to ramble, you might roll yours eyes, but that's ok I do that a lot too.  I don't like being labeled and it seems no matter what group of friends I have in life or online they want to label everybody and everything that moves. Im like mixed race. I embrace my freespirit side, my godly house wife side, my soft sweet momma side, my turbo bitch side. I like it all. Really I do. Im a nice neat package that has been abused my the FedX people during shipping.
 Now onto my kids. My kids are great. They run naked most of the day, which is why they have runny noses. They are growing each day and everyday I get a new gray hair. They are full of wild Indian that its a shame we have neighbors because im pretty dang sure they would be outside naked in the snow skinning a deer just to show us they could do it! They all our in 4h now. Really loven that. We are getting goats in the spring for milking and playing with. My chickens and ducks are finally laying. The kids gather them everyday and manage to break 2 every time. The boys are all in basketball. They are doing wonderful in it. Hannah and Chase will start piano again whenever basketball is over because I can not see myself running around those to schedules. The little girls are into UFC fighting with each other. Im JOKING! They can take the boys down so don't cross them. No the littles are busy playing dolls and being naked ALL THE TIME. Spring, are you close by?
 I better go take a shower while the crew is glued to the TV watching Magic School Bus.....and eating marshmallows.....naked.....

Torah Momma's Journal 10-11-13

Its been awhile but lets just jump back at it :) I'm linking up Torah Family Living to do the Torah Momma's Journal.

What did I…

Offer thanks for? My children and husband. My youngest is now 2 and Im not use to this season of life. Im use to nursing newborns and wrapping babies. As I still nurse LAurbeth she, she isn't a baby anymore. Im so thankful for all my kids that get me going everyday.

Accomplish? well.... ill get back to that one

Struggle with? Feeling empty. Not having a newborn is hard.

Teach my children? We are learning contentment of home. we have lived a very busy go go go lifestyle for some many years. We cut some many activities now so we can be home. We are focusing on training hearts and skills that we need to live off grid.

Study and learn? We are learning pioneer skill, we have been working on them for 2 years now. We are learning to simplify. Its been great.

Laugh about?EVERYTHING

Pray about? I have been in prayer a lot for healing. On many areas in my life. The want for more babies, the anxiety of the world. I pray for  the heart of my oldest son, the heart of my husband.

What is this week’s Torah portion and what did I learn from it? This week we are in Genesis 45:4-7. This is our second time reading through this but this time we have an awesome copy book to go with it.
Picture of the week:

Beautiful country living

There is nothing more real and beautiful than waking up to the sun hitting your house and your littles playing at your feet while your sip coffee. Thinking of the mighty beauty God gives for our eyes everyday is breath taking. While I sit here and type this post, I look out my window and see our chickens and ducks walking around. The flowers in full bloom,the sun shining and a little breeze moving my willows like a long country skirt. Moments like these are ones I look forward to everyday. Ones I thank God for. He is mighty and amazing. Thank you Lord for blessing me with this life.
 Yesterday  we finished up with soccer in the morningand we headed out to the garden and worked out tails off. We put in all the posts and up went the fence and gate. We planted and planted until I could do no more for the day. I still have a few things to plant today but that will wait util after I get some inside work done. My older kids are awesome and worked just as hard ans dad and me. Nothing like having farmer kids :) the littles played played and played and not one complained about us not playing right with them. Laurabeth spent a good time on my back and then found use of the water :) the other day I tilled my WHOLE garden with her on my back. I felt like a woman out of the early 1900s working the land. I loved it. Well it wasn't the WHOLE garden my man did the first half and I did the other but I had to go over the whole garden one I was done to make it look nice. It was alot of work. We are all looking forward to a day indoors today. My hubby had to go to work this morning so I'm hoping its an easy day there for him. Grandma JJ is coming out after dinner to grab a few kids for a sleep over.My kids have been counting this down for over 3 weeks. They always look forward to spending time with gma and papa :)
 Laurabeth will be 20 months old in 2 days!! Man time flies. I got to hold my friends newborn while at soccer yesterday. It was just what my heart needed. Snuggles with a sweet little baby!! Oh be still heart! My baby isn't a baby anymore. Soon she will be at the preschool table working right along with Jolene. She already does but you know what I mean. I bought My Fathers World First grade over the week and got it in the mail. Man it looks so awesome for my boys!! Cody will be moving into My Fathers World year 4 come August. we are still doing CtG but at his pace. Hannah is finishing up her stuff and moving right along. Remember we do things alittle different around here so we don't meet up with everybody else's year.

Ready for a new week :)

Friday night Hannah had a beautiful piano recital and she did AMAZING! She played three songs and was one of the few students to open in the prelude.All the kids did great! Hannah looked like she had grown over night when she came out of her room all down up. I almost cried. I can NOT believe she is my first baby and already so grown. Man she is such an amazing child. She goes where ever needed with out a complain. People call and her and she is right there the second they say so. Her faith is stronger than most adults I know. She even shows me up when we are doing bible and I'm like " Is Mark before or after Matthew?" She knows every book( just about) and when In teaching Cody she is right there to correct my dumbness. Which its a good thing because it shows me her drive and love of Jesus and that's all I want for my kids because He will do the rest.
 Friday wrapped up or busy routine for the summer of running. THANK YOU! we are home bound with only riding lessons on Thursday. we have so much to work on. Not to mention the attitudes of some littles. We will be working on sitting for more than 5 minutes, manners, chores, and loving people like they want to be loved. One of the many reasons I homeschool, well theres hundreds but that a different post, but a good is so that im not tied to someones schedule. I HATE having to be somewhere at a certain time every week or day. I hate being committed. I know sounds bad but thats me. I don't like having a routine where I have to go by someone elses times. Makes me crazy. I can do it for a few things but man. My anxiety has swung back into play and it suck. I was doing so good and then had few days of really busy running and I felt like was letting someone down ( my husband). Its a horrible feeling like my heart is going to pop out of my throat and my shakes will take me down. I refuse to use doctor meds but I do use natural things and they help but there some days were I just need breathe and relax and stop all that is going on. So thats why I'm so thankful for the break. AS for the fall when things pick back up we have decided on changes so we aren't gone alot. I'm not posting the changes because I don't want an hear full.
 If the rain ever decided to stop for  I don't know maybe a DAY I could my garden going. Its so dang muddy and nasty I cant even till and plant! Maybe summer will go until November this year. I have a sinus headache and a stuff nose and just about all my kids have a sinus thingy going on. Ethan and Jolene are the only ones free of it. grrrrr

 Oh the reason for me to post was for my memories of my kids. Jeff taught Laurabeth how to say, Laura,grandma,nose,eye,Hannah,dad,ear,Chase. Yes, all those words while I was at Hannah's piano recital. He recorded them and its crazy! I guess I need to work with her more? Its super cute.

Enjoying the weather

After what seemed like rain  forever last week, we are really enjoying the sunshine and warm air.We get up early and get our chores done and work on learning. Boy as soon as 11 hits we are out the door to play and work. Cody is in charge of mowing the front yard and weed eating as I do the side and back yard and by the barn. I really like mowing with the sun hitting me and the wind blowing. The husband wants to get a zero turn rider so he has been looking for the right one. Yesterday I picked up 13 more Americana/mix chicks from the farm  store and they are sooo stinking cute. Laurabeth thinks they are her toys so she goes to the deck and hold everyone of them really fast and then runs off. Our baby kittens are doing wonderful. We keep them in a play pen in the living room and they have learned to climb out so ever once in awhile we find a kitty or two walking around the sofa! we are only keeping one or two of them and Ill be looking for homes next week for them.Ill miss them :( If the rain holds off im hoping to get the garden tilled finally this weekend after soccer practice. Id love to do it Friday but we will see after the rain Thursday if I can. Im about tried of this rain. Just wish it would hold off until I get my garden in. My tiller is broken so we have to rent one but I cant until the husband is ready to till the upper field for what he is working on so we don't have to pay more to rent it twice. Man my knock out roses look AMAZING right now. Super bright red. We made Ethan a relaxing water garden I planted some roses and beautiful flowers by it for him. Well now we have to pull the liner of the pond back out and redo the side of it as the boys lay across it and smashed the sides down. Instead of filling it all up with water for safety reasons with the little girls we are going to add all rock and just 10 inches or so of water it. I'm worried that she will get past my eyes and fall in. Everyday the boys add frogs and worms to the pond  :) We are still on the hunt for a turtle. We past a few on the road but I refuse to stop and get them if they are almost to the other side. We have found 2 baby copperheads so far this year, another reason I added more chicks to my already nice size flock. My cat brought me a dead snake and left it on my back deck! The kids thought it was a mouse or a opossum tail. So glad they didn't touch it because the cat must have just killed it as it was still fresh. ekkkk
 Today we have homeschool PE an the kids look forward to that every week. Its nice to get out and talk for a few hours with other mommas. We did have riding lessons for tomorrow but she text me about the rain and said we will move it to next week. The kids SO every much enjoy riding. Val their teacher is old school and teaches them first to ride bareback. So awesome how God has placed her in our life. She ROCKS! The kids spend 6 hours there every Thursday and its all they talk about for the next few days. Another plus to that is we go past my girlfriend Lisa's house and she texts me to stop by and have picnic lunch with her and her kids at her house so the littles can play. Her kiddos also do the riding lessons but on different days.
 I need to get up and start my chores and showers before the day really starts. Most of the kids are still sleeping ( another reason why I like the warm weather, they play so HARD they sleep so well!). Have a blessed day my friends and enjoy those children!

                                            These riding pics are all from the EE bbq over the weekend

                          This is the third or forth arrowhead we have found on our land.

Peace Love and Unschooling

We have had a busy few weeks of things that Id never dream Id ever deal with. I have high anxiety, which put me in the hospital for a few hours. All is better as I can catch myself when I feel the stress approaching. Its never a dull moment with my wild Indians but my stress doesn't come from them. Its the lack of sleep for 6 years and the outside world that is so ate up that it makes me barf. Then after that week we found a lump om my sweet Ethan's chest. Took him to the doctor the next day. They did a chest xray that day to confirm what the doctor thought. Pectus Carinatum. Friday we went in for a heart echo but with it being Friday we wont hear from the specialist until next week, but the tech said he looked. Praise God! He will go back next week and see the specialist and talk about things we need to do and what not. Ill know more once we see him. This is not life threatening issue so I can breathe. A chest brace for a few years for him looks like the way we are heading. Totally can deal with that :) Prayers though that Ethan is calm about all that lays head and that we Praise God for the healing and protection of all of us. He was so brave and amazing for this. I took him and bought him Alvin and Chipmunks Shipwrecked afterwards as he needs a little down us. I have been struggling with so many things lately. Stuff that is personal and stuff that is minor. Listening is one of those things we all need to do better.Im content being a momma of many wild Indians and I have no desire to add more on my part. The Lord does work in His own way but Im not jumping the husband to make another baby ;) Im pretty happy playing, laughing, actively teaching my Indians with out being being strapped to chair to nurse. YES Laurabeth is still strong at 19 months and we don't plan to stop. But theres a difference of nursing a walking running toddler as to nursing a little time :)
The Lord is great in all He does for one who needs me every second. Those times have been such a blessing to me. But Im also so happy for this season of my life. Yes it was hard to deal with at first and I'm pretty sure that was the cause of my big attack. You just learn to listen.My Indians are so amazing. My relationship with my husband is great. Things are going to be ok with out adding a baby every year ;)
 Our "school" has changed for a more relaxed feel. Another one of those "finding your inner self" things. We live life and learn from life. No homeschool looks the same. EVER. We do things are way and don't tell me I need this and that to make it work. Living books are our thing. Painting is our thing. Baking is our thing. NATURE is a huge thing for us. We have been gone a little to much these last few weeks as we finish piano up next week and EE we are taking a break from the WORLD. we will keep up Riding Lessons because my kids like to feel free when riding bareback out in the middle of nowhere.

 Lets see if blogger will upload some pics!

My Days

My days are blessed with dirty feet from babies, kids that laugh at anything, mud, horses, ducks, chicks and pure country blood running through my veins. I had a very relaxing weekend of basketball celebrations, horse training, laying in the yard with my littles and having my sisters boys over for a sleep over. It was just what I needed after a week of panic attacks wiped me out. I got all my Passover books in the mail along with my new bible. Terri Maxwell wrote another book and its call Sweet Relationships. That came on Saturday and I was so blessed to start reading it while the kids were training horses and I was in the sun with the littles watching and reading.The spring weather has me just aching for the warm weather to come so I can plant and take the kids to the river. Everyday all the kids talk about going to the river. With the husbands job he gets Friday and Saturday off which works great for us. Although theres times were that will change and it will be off Sunday and Monday.
 Learning is going full steam. Im getting my groove with a routine and once I post this I'm sure all hell will break loose because thats what happens when I brag about our routine. I start my day off at 4:15 with my husband. Once he is out the door I snuggle my baby and nurse. I read the bible and drink my coffee. Lately I have had the window cracked so I can hear the wind chimes on the porch. After I get the kids up and fed, I head down stairs to jog/walk on the treadmill for 30 mins and then I do the bow flex for 20 mins. The kids usually come down with me and play or ride scooters. Right now the down stairs is a mess because we are finishing the rooms. SO we have stuff everywhere so there is just a tiny path for them to ride. After that we head up stairs to school. We school until about 11, then we start lunch. they play until almost 1 so I can stuff and focus on the little girls for awhile. They finish up their school and usually outside to play until dinner or they play inside. Routine is a must for me right now. With my panic attacks I feel better with routine. Alot better.
 Im finding media to be my biggest panic. Death is every where and its a scary thing. I check my facebook only for homeschooling reason now and I know longer red peoples posts. I dont care to see it anymore. I do also check it to read the natural parenting blogs/posts. If we are blessed again with another child im really researching different things. There is friends who post horrible things and I know they do it out of kindness and need prayers for the others families but I honestly cant take the sad news every..single...time...I log on. So if we are friends and then find on facebook that we are no longer friends on there please know its just facebook, we are still friends in the real world ;)

Modesty and Purity

These 2 things are on our families TOP most important list to teach our children. In today's world we are ran off of sex and more sex. Seeing a 12 year old year in skin tight jeans and her lady gadgets hanging out of the shirt makes me sick. For more reasons than one. I don't enjoy going out with my family and seeing young girls dressing like a hooker for the fact I have not  only a husband who sees that but I also have 3 boys, one who is at the age of eyes wondering. Modesty and PURITY is not just for the young girls to learn. We teach our boys the same. They will respect a woman. We are doing a bible study right now on Modesty from Queens Homeschool Supplies and so far I'm so impressed by it. Hannah is this one in golfed in it and it amazes me how fast she can flip through the bible and learn. Hannah has always been my child of modesty. She in no way likes to show off her body and she respects herself. By not showing off her curves she is honoring God. Rubs ALOT of people wrong when we say we like to please the Lord and honor His words. They don't like to be held to someone like that. Thats ok with us, this is our walk and they are MY children. With saying this I know theres afew people reading and saying in their heads " Oh my goodness shes going to the long skirts and what not." Cracks me up. Thats not what I'm saying here. The Lord will call you to do what He wants you to do. For us it doesn't mean wearing long skirts. Yes I love me some long skirts and I feel pretty in them and I kinda feel like Little House in them so I wear them often because of that. My daughters can wear what they please. My oldest daughter is a huge fan of blue jeans, go for it. Modesty isn't about wearing skirts, its about covering the skin that shouldn't be exposed to the public. Even as a kid I hated to have certain skin exposed. I did fall into a time and short time of skin but it didn't last long. Modesty jumps right into purity. How is a young boy to act when he sees a woman on TV or in a magazine almost naked and I mean only thing covered is her nips, eating a hamburger and in bed with it? For us, my husband finds this a horrid thing for  TV to allow, so we choose to not have cable. Public TV is also so bad with playing this crap. I don't want my son at 11 thinking that all woman should be having sex with a hamburger and seeing her body and then thinking well, shoot, other kids are doing this and that I might as well too. I think not. Its our job as parents to teach our kids respect for bodies. Its NOT normal for a 13 year old to be having sex. Its not normal for a 13 year to be in a "relationship" . Its not normal for a 16 year old girl to have sex with every boy she "dates". In our world today, that is normal. We choose to homeschool our kids for many reasons, but this is right up there in the top reasons. we choose to shelter them for the middle school/high school drama that is all around us. Think what you will but my kids deserve better than that, as do yours. Start teaching them respect for bodies. I have so many regrets as a child from the age 12 on up. I was doing things with boys that would frighten the crap out me if I EVER heard even the thought of my kids doing that. I don't regret having my first 2 children at 16 and 18. I was meant to be a mother and knew that from a very very early age. I do regret alot, just not that. Theres reason for all and I got 2 very special children from that. My mind is a cirus and I don't want to write my whole life on my blog as it is personal and only spilled to my husband. When I think of my past I usually have a few days of panic attacks and the feeling of me not being good enough. I didn't have a bad life, not at all, but as an adult things are different and they play a huge role in life. My life with my husband is effected by this. My children have to see me panic and what not and thats hard. We are all human and thats life. I leave it to the Lord. But again this is a reason we teach Modesty and purity to are children. Its pleasing to the Lord and will make their marriage alot easier.I could go on and on but you get the point. Im a complicated woman, not asking for you to understand me, just letting you know of a great bible study you can do with your kids. The Standard of Modesty: A Bible-Based Study for Young Ladies by Sandi Queen and The Standard of Purity - A Bible Based Study for Young Adults by Sandi Queen.

Life has been busy here as always. Jeff started his new job, which in turn has made for some SUPER unsettled kids. Ethan has been crying at night and acting out during the day. Yesterday was a bit better for him. The littles are so LOUD and have been pushing the limits with me and dad. With Jeff working we now have 4 yes 4 littles in our bed at night. A king size bed should make for lots of room, but with littles who sleep with legs on my head and elbows in my butt I find that I really look forward to nursing the baby after midnight in my recliner :) Today we are working on quiet time and listening to people to they they speak. they seem to think yeller over each other is the way to be heard. Im a loud person by nature but my indians are super duper LOUD. Dad will be working night shift come next week so our routine is going to totally change. He is works 4 days then is off 3 days.  think He said he is off Sunday, Monday and Tuesday but again that will change once they finally get there stuff together. He is working today but day shift. Its going to be sooo very nice to have him off those days because we plan to do ALOT of family outings and camping/river fun and having him off Sunday thro Tuesday not alot people will be at the river and places.Ethan has his summer planned out and hidden in his dresser. Its really pretty cute.

 Learning has been great, just not this past week as I was GONE every single day of the week either with dentist appts for the kids, hospital visits, doctor appts and lessons outside of the house. I told he kids we are home cranking out the lessons until May then we can slow down some. Our weekends will be filled with 3 doing soccer, Horse riding lessons, Morgan Horse club on Saturdays and family outings. Im glad all that is on the weekends because schooling 5 children is now a FULL TIME job. As before the littles would do "school" as they pleased but I have really eager littles and love doing "school" now. School looks different everyday for us. Some days we do lapbooks, others a full of crafts for all kids. Others its kitchen help and helping dad build the rooms downstairs. The building of the room and bathroom does go alot slower with kids helping but they are learning. The husband has had a few moments of yelling and Im right there to knock that crap off. My dad was a yeller like that and Jeff knows thats the first way to boil my blood when it comes to my kids. I'm a yeller and I kick myself every time I do it. Ahhhhh.  Hannah has showed a HUGE jump in responsibility. I had her take the month off of volunteering at EE until she got caught up in school and showed me she was serious about her education. Well the child has busted her rear and even through the babysitting and chores and LIFE she has managed to get caught up and even better..... STAY THAT WAY. She is doing amazing!! She has gift for sure. She starts back at EE Monday and she cant wait! They have emailed and called and are so excited to have her back!
 Im ready for spring. Yes I said that. We have had snow after snow and Im ready to be outside in the garden. All my seedlings have sprouted in the window and it just makes me want it more! Not to mention I have 3 boys who NEED to burn the energy. BADLY. Well I most go and make the morning meal and insert that coffee I.V. :)