Are we there yet?!

Mud is good for a girls skin.

Here is my husbands burnt apartment. His is on the left bottom. Under the porch with the 2 windows you can our sofa and the upstairs floor on it. The whole building is gutted and they will be knocking it down this week. His bedroom is the far left window with the gutter hanging in it.

My favorite moments....

Those are the words I say to myself alot. Are we there yet? Meaning am I were I want to be as a mother, a wife, a friend, a stranger? I have spent a good part of my life always in the shadow or running in my head the thoughts of am I enough or good enough for?? I became a mom at 15 gave birth at 16. I was young but I knew God made me a mom for a reason and I grabbed that and ran with it. I never gave a thought about what others thought about my parenting. I had my second child at 18. Again knowing full well what I was doing. Never thought twice about a dang thing and my oldest kids are some AMAZING kids! I was relaxed and a free spirit about things. Learning was outside and enjoyable. I was a single mom from the get go. But I had an awesome mom and family for support. Some how I managed to lose my joy and free spirit for a few years and lost the person I was. I lost the feeling of love and became so wrapped up in what everyone thought and on my goodness how I raised my kids. We lost the JOY of what parenting really is. I lost the laughs, the pure awww feeling when my child did something. Until recently. My sister a bunch of weeks ago was talking to me about how she never let anyone tell her this and that about her family and she dont care what others think because its her family etc.... Thats when I remembered well duhhhh what the heck I was I doing for these past couple years. I lost a good 2 years of caring what people had planned for us and what they thought on my parenting. Im not trying to mean but now its like shut up please! I dont care if what we are doing isnt your idea of cool or popular. I dont care if you think we are weird backwoods freaks. We are finally happy, finally we know what clicks and what doesn't. I make the plans, I decide if we watch this or not. We have laughs we have smiles, we have peace and we have LOVE back in this house.Knowing my husband will back home and with is makes our smile a little bigger( maybe after the first few weeks of getting a routine with him.) I have relaxed on alots.Im a loud person in general always have been and that wont change. Although im sure my kids have moments when they wish id be quiet! I need to work on being a little more soft. Ill work on that. My biggest change was the way we school. Again not all my children are relaxed learners. Hannah is very text bookie. But for my Cody its been along 5 years of schooling and we honestly haven't gotten very far. For a while there I was unschooling him and he did amazing and loved learning without knowing he was doing "school". Then those nasty years came in and I thought I was doing it wrong and bam we hit a road. Im not unschooling him now but we no longer use the text books on him. I have an English book for myself and thats it. I have him write bible verses, poems, stories anything to get him writing. HE DOESN'T COMPLAIN! We are doing Prairie Primer again only because HE loves it and I though lots into for him. He likes learning again. Yes thats right my stub burn book throwing pencil breaking child likes his school again! Oh my oh my. People I have to tell you I feel wonderful as a parent again and its so nice to laugh with my kids. The messes are always here and thats just a season for this. I have a house of littles and littles causes messes. If you cant handle that then you dont need to come over and WASTE my time. I cant always have a clean and spotless house and be a happy mom also. If you can awesome, but for me I can do the dishes after they go to bed, im going to take that walk they want. I can laundry later, im going to play that card game they want. Of course we still teach our children we have chores and we must work before play BUT in a relaxed way. Dont like? Thats ok it works for us. We are happy and content.
Ok enough of that. Last week my husbands apartment building burnt down and he lost everything that he had there. Which was alot because he has been in Indiana for 18 months now. He got out and just watched the fire take that building to nothing. It was by far a scary night for me being 4 hours away and not being able to hold him and touch him and know FOR SURE he as ok. But the kids and me did go there for few days and got him into a new bigger apartment for the last few weeks of him working outa state with out us. I got there and had to do the wife pat down on him so I knew for sure he was 100% ok! He was! We also got a new home for our dog Buzz. He is a black lab mix and a guy wanted to train him to be a duck hunter. Praise God for that. We didnt have the time to train him and he is such a good dog. We miss him but know he is in a good home. I got chickens and a turkey now under the light hoping that a fox doesnt come again and kill them all.Last year we lost my whole flock to a wild animal. Not this year! Alright I better go I have wild Indians running around here. P.S...... YES WE ARE THERE :)

One stitch at a time...

The thread that is life started coming undone one stitch at a time when my husband took an out a state job. The first night he left for the first week long stay was a little over 18 months ago. That was stitch one undone. Since that time we have or should I say the children and I, have moved into the home my husband built, added a new baby, had a child diagnosed with Asperger's, had serious child training issues etc. I have been depressed more than ever.One stitch at a time we slowly fall apart but I cant complain because while all this is being done my husband is out of state working his butt off so we can have all we need. He is amazing. AMAZING! He never complains about working or this and that. But he is now to the point where he HATES IT. Can you imagine for a minute trying to leave the house with a wife and 6 kids crying for you to stay? With a 5 year wrapped around your legs begging you not to leave? How about a 4 year old at your feet asking and begging for all of us to go with? A 2 year old waving good bye because her WHOLE life this has been her normal? This will no longer happen to my family. In a few weeks my husband will be home. My kids will longer beg their daddy to stay. My kids can have all 3 meals with their mom AND daddy. I will have that much needed support at home. I will get a BREAK! SO we wont have a pay check coming during this time, but we aren't worried about it. God has us on this path and we fully take it. Theres huge reasons behind the 18 months of being apart, what it is we dont know. Maybe is the fact we realized how important family is. Maybe it was for the closeness my husband and the Lord have now. Maybe it was to see if my hair can change to ALL gray in 18 months. We dont know the reason why but we know God is good and He is leader of family. We follow. Tonight was I think my hardest night of saying goodbye. Im a basket case and so over whelmed with everything. Im so relieved that the next job out a state we all will be going. Makes it so much easier to handle.

What im thinking: Why a time change?

What im praying: For Carol who is 9 with cancer and on my mind. Her sweet brothers.My grandma who is 95 and having retaining water.

What im hearing: fish tank going and TV on.The noise from the hwy is loud tonight.

What we will do this week: Monday we have the bank,library and Hannahs day at the stables.Tuesday another day for Hannah at the stables. Wednesday Royal Rangers for Cody. Thursday dentist and chiropractor.Friday Dare to Share for Hannah and sleep over at grandmas for Cody.

Learning room: Im loving the curriculum change with Cody. No more text books and it feels so good. We are doing The Prairie Primer again but this time doing it in order and the whole thing. He loves it! The homeschooling expo is coming up and Im so excited.

What im reading: ?

Cooking: Tomorrow Ill be doing bread and English muffin bread. Homemade butter.

Changes around here: ALOT.

Because I can!

2 of my boys waiting for the horses to come to them.

Ethan with the horse he will ride for his therapy. The contentedness with horses for children with Aspergers is so amazing. Hannah is volunteering there twice a week to help with horses around the barn.Such a blessing.

My sister Amber and my 2 year old Jolene.

Sisters!

Im beautiful yes I know :)

Hannah banana grating our soap for laundry.

So we have struggled for 5 years now on how to get my country boy to comprehend what he is reading. Everyday we pulled out the text books and sat down to what is an agonizing few hours of trying to read and worksheets and quizzes only to find he cant remember what we read. Who says your child child needs to spend x time in a text book? Who says our quizzes cant be fun and verbal? Why cant we have tests that are hands on? We parents get caught up in the everyday life and we go through our schooling in a box and think this what we are suppose to do. Ummm I homeschool because I don't want my kids to learn like the public school. I don't want someone telling me this is how tests are suppose to be given or I have to even give them. I hate tests. I didn't like them in school so why I do I feel the need to give them to my children? Yes in high school they need them but from 8th down I think not. As homeschoolers we have to remember WE choose HOW WE LEARN. No one but my husband will be in charge of what we do. My son doesn't do well with text books at all. He lights up when we read library books and we go outside and explore with our books. He loves being in the kitchen and making math come to his hands. He doesn't learn a thing sitting at the table trying to read a boring science lesson. So what do I do now for school with him? We switched over to unit studies. i have guide lines I go by with what WE feel he should be learning right now and we go with it. Right now we are learning about birds. we put feeders up and got books and posters on the different birds in our state. For art he goes down to the creek with his notebook and sits quietly watching. This is my mans happy place. He comes flying through the door with excitement telling me all about what he saw. He learns so much more this way. Its amazing. I have an older daughter who is all text books and cant learn any other way. She thrives from having a text book and lessons in front her. Its all about the child and what works for them. My kindergartners are just in the swing of things. They like it all. With My Fathers World K its so working for them. I'm writing this post just to remind you homeschooling mommy's that if your teaching isn't working then change it. Thats one reason we teach at home, so we can let our children grow the way God intended them to. Each child has a different learning path and its our job to find and let it grow. So it took me 5 years with this one but theres a reason for it......ill let you know when I find it :)

This, that and the other.

Sorry its blurry but Jolene is beyond cute when Hannah dresses her.

School is under way :)

Again, Hannah dresses her!

Hannah at her happiest! The library.

Our baby whisperer Cody.

Time always flies and I never notice until I check my blog. We have been busy here on the Ownby homestead. Basketball season came to an end last Saturday with the last game making me sweat just watching. Cody did amazing and learned so much.We are looking forward to next season. Hannah is preparing for her piano recital. Always hearing her play is one of the joys I love about being home. Cody has also join Royal Rangers and I have to say that this is the neatest thing ever.Its christian boy scouting! LOVE LOVE LOVE it. We have been working on his derby car for his race this coming weekend. I think Daddy is really looking forward to this. My little guys tried to Rangers but screamed and cried when I left so we decided we would try later in the year. The 3 boys will be doing karate this spring together. Something their dad says they need. Cody and Hannah did karate for a long while but we moved and added many kids since then. Jolene is my tomboy princess. Love that smile she gives. Boy does she love crafts and school.She is only 2 and screams for paper and marker to work. Shes such a lover. Chase was in the hospital a few weeks ago. We thought he had a nut shell stuck in his throat because he couldn't eat and he screamed and cried whenever he would try. It started when he was eating nuts so we put 2 and 2 together. I took him in the ER and they did an xray and it showed nothing. So we went on our merry way. The pain wouldn't go away and it was getting worse and worse. So we headed back to the children's ER and kept us over night. The next day they put my poor sweet little to sleep( which is the hardest thing for a parent to see). They scoped his GI track and found he has a big nasty ulcer on the top part of his tummy. The doctor said it was from a viral infection and it happened to cause an ulcer. So he is on percacid once a day for 6weeks to 4 months. He is doing much much better. The first few days after the hospital he didnt want to eat because he was afraid it would hurt. Once that med kicked in we cant get him to stop eating. Praise the Lord! My boy is eating and gaining his weight back. God is good. Laurabeth is playing with toys and talking to us. Laughing like crazy. I love it! Someone is always holding her which is delaying her rolling over and sitting up. Not really but thats what we say. She is everywhere. She is a whopping 17 pounds now. We grow them big! Ethan is a master at school. We get alot of melts downs from him but we roll with it. He loves writing and making playdduh things. He looks up to Cody like crazy.

As far as school we are plugging along expect for today. I had my tooth pulled this morning so the kids have the day off. Its totally beautiful outside but so stinkin windy its stupid to be out. We had massive storms come though last night south of us and really did alot of damage. Of course my the worlds biggest baby when it comes to storms so I managed to work myself into a nightmare and that caused me to wake up sweating bullets and scared out of my mind. See what happens when the husband works away from the home! We will do a unit study on weather next talking about tornado's and storms. We are having a hard time some of our text books and im thinking we will sell them and jump right into My Fathers World year 2. We have the Homeschool Convention coming up and Ill buy it there. I cant wait for the convention!!

This house still doesnt feel like home to me. My mom bless her heart has been making me really neat paintings and things to help the homie feel but honestly this house just doesnt work for me. I love it dont get me wrong. My husband isnt here to make it complete. I always feel like im being watched and just uncomfortable all the time. Our lights are on 24/7. Even at night my house is usually lit like the 4th of July. The husband is ready to rip out the hardwood and lay carpet in the living room. He is going to redo the kitchen floor. We have light hardwood all over the house and with this many kids ans spills and water problems we have the hardwood in the kitchen is getting ruined fast. Yes my friends we have been here 1 year and already redoing alot! He just replaced the gate we had at the top of the stairs because my hulk of a son ripped it off the wall! Now we have a huge metal gate that im sure they will break. We also broke the under leg on my 10 man table! Mom you need to come fix that ok? I just got off the phone with my sister and my mouth is bleeding again so I must go. Blessings.

Happy New Year

I know this is really blurry but Codys face was priceless. Grandma and papa got him a bear fleece blanket.

Christmas at my house with the family.

Christmas morning it was a Star Wars fight

Grandma and Laurabeth

Jolene at the Hanukkah homeschool party

Where do I begin....the holidays are over and I have packed and removed any Christmas things away. Im sad it flew by but Im also excited to get school back on track.We have been so busy and I want to post it all but its like really?? Routine is a most around here and I so badly need it.We had a blessed Christmas with my family yesterday.On Christmas day my kids were sick with strep so we stayed home and really enjoyed the day. All the kids woke up and did their wooo and awwww's and tore though there gifts and had some play time before half the kids were on the sofa until bed time. They didn't even realize that they had living full of new toys! My olders weren't sick and played like crazy.Hannah got a 3DDS and was glued to it all day. Cody got lots of Lego sets and hunting things which kept him busy. I made the ham and yummy side dishes because I wanted Christmas to be Christmas even if they were to sick to know. The next day they were feeling better and boy the played with toys like crazy. It was so nice! Jolene still has a nasty wet cough and she gave that to her daddy this week. My family came over yesterday and I have to stay it was 60 outside and pure sunshine! You know He was shining down the blessings on us! All 13 kids were playing and eating. It was such a nice time I went to bed with a smile on my face. Today was clean up day and I only got to Christmas stuff because now we have the stomach bug! GOOD FREAKIN TIMES! Theres always tomorrow.I have to get our books out and see here we are so I can plan our planners. Cody is doing unit studies so that will be our change for this year. Hannah will be doing tha same as always. I have to start looking, researching the home schooling though high school. Im biting my nails here!

Theres many happenings here but some stuff will be private you know:) All good no worries.IM also doing the 90 day Bible Challange. Amy over at http://www.momstoolbox.com/blog/2011/12/12/bible-in-90-days-spring-2012-host-sites/ so ill be doing this and excited about it.

I must go but I leave you with the things that I pray for this New Year.

I pray my family is happy and Healthy, I pray my husband gets a job in state where we can be a family again. I pray that my sister in law gets blessed with a baby this year, I pray for my Judy who is searching for something and I think she may have found her call, I pray for mom and dad and that they win the lottery ;). I pray my dad is healed and gets back everything he lost when he had his stroke years ago. I pray my mm is blessed with so many things I cant begin to write. The list goes on and on but I'm good writing these down right now. I have a 2 year old at my side waiting for bed.

Ramble on Jen

I have my laundry almost done, meaning I have clothes to fold and put away. I have been cleaning and getting the house ready for Christmas. I get the pure pleasure of having my side of the family over for Christmas. Although a few wont be here because they have better people to see. Im planning yummy food and lots of laughs and smiles from children. Im also bracing myself for a night all boys!! My sisters little boys are coming over fora sleep over on Thursday and my mom is taking Hannah and my sisters daughter Madison and my brothers daughter Bree for girls sleep over. Ill have all the boys and my 2 sweet little girls. I plan to make it a great night of boy stuff. Over the weekend my sister and her 3 kids came over with my mom to do the Jolley baking of Christmas. We baked so many cookies I think I gained 10 pounds. I always love when they come over because we seem to spend the whole time laughing. Whats even better is my Hannah is old enough now to join in on the big girl talk and laugh with us. Hannah and Madison were really the only kids helping as the others were old Indians running around the house and playing. Jolene did help alittle. My husband was home to taste the cookies right out of the oven. I had a goodie box all made for him to take back to Indiana but he forgot it with all the busy bodies around us. Im so excited I get him home for 4 days. For awhile there I didnt cry when he would leave now im back to crying. It gets harder and harder now to watch him leave us every week. I through myself a pity party and then realize I cant do that, I have to many eyes watching. I miss him horribly. He comes home and loves on the kids and we go to bed because its late and then we snuggle. Morning comes to fast and we know the day will go by even faster. He misses having a wife who can hug him everyday and tell him how much I love him. Over the phone just doesnt do that justice. Laurabeth will be 3 months old tomorrow and he has missed so much. Jolene is 2 and he missed those 2 years. He blinked and they grew. I miss my husband.......


We did a day Hanukkah and we did our studies. We colored and read and so on. Our word search was a bit much for Cody but he finally got it. Tomorrow we have our big Hanukkah party with homeschool group and really looking forward to that. Laktes here we come!! Ita amazing to me the miracle of that. Every time we read about it we all say " Look people, it was the Lord who made the oil last eight days. Isnt he amazing!!" I have been doing my bible reading and found some verses that made me stop and realize what I need to work on as a mom and a sister in Christ. Colossians 3:13- " Make allowance for each others faults, and forgive anyone who offends you.Remember the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others." Titus 3:3- Once we,too, were foolish and disobedient.We were misled and became slaves of to many lusts and pleasures.Our lives were full of evil and envy, and we hated each other.


Well I must get to bed. I made my list for the "to do" over the next few days. I need to find a special toy for my ohhh I mean the kids guinea pig. I love this animal like crazy!! I love our dog but the guinea is my kinda animal. I guess ill buy the dog a special treat too :p

Putting on the "Mom Pants"

Ita pillow, its a pet, its a pillow pet ;)

My good looking cowboy Chase

Hannah doing what she does best.....coffee and reading

Well not really but you get the idea. Im redoing our way of learning around here for some of my kiddos, which means mom pants and nerdy glasses are coming out! Hannah will do whatever and continue doing what she is doing. But my boys will be doing unit studies along with keeping Abeka math and MFW books in the mix. Ill do my big post when I have the time after the holidays but Im just letting my friends know who do Abeka subjects my boys will no longer be doing them. we have had a busy week with bball, homeschool co op,library crafts,piano, Youth meeting at a beautiful church and shopping. This next week will be the same busy mood. Sunday I have family coming for cookie baking and down right fun. Although some of my family will not be here because they are better than us dont you know! Im a little bitter yes!