Daybook entry Nov 2

Little LauraBeth and me over the weekend

LauraBeth 5 weeks old!!

We read The Pumpkin Patch Parable over and over in the month Oct and we craved our pumpkins to make all smile. Then a skunk came and stoled Chases pumpkin and ate the faces of the other!

Hannah and Cody in front of the ST.Louis Art Museum.

Ethan and his NAME!!

Around the house: Its quiet with Laura and Jolene sleeping, Hannah went shopping with her girlfriend she never gets to see. Cody is out mowing the back yard one last time before we put the mower away. The little boys are having a snack for down time.Amazing how quiet a house can get when all day long we are louder than a jumbo jet. Floors need to be mopped and laundry put away but honestly today I'm tired and going to enjoy the breeze through my windows awhile.

Im praying: That God changes the path we are on with Jeff gone all the time. Rather its a job in state or out we need to be together.Family. Its something that I have been struggling with so much secretly on the inside since I had Laura. Its something I have shed many many tears on the last weeks.Theres no jobs in St.Louis for the work my husband does ( Union electrician) and we know this fact. we have to keep this line of work for many reason. It pays good and we have a large and growing family that needs a good income to support.Second, Jeff has been doing this for 20 years and loves it.Im praying God will set the path and we follow.I pray that what ever it is my family understands and doesn't give the guilt party. I pray the path is well heard and we listen.I pray I stop having these mental battles over how I do things.I was talking to my girlfriend who is also a mom to many littles and a homeschooler and we struggle with the same issues.Am I doing enough on this and doing enough with this child and so on. I know im not alone on this but feel like Im the only one who struggles.Its not like I can just sit next to my husband in bed at night and talk it out.Hes not there!I mean the list can go but ill spare you the list. we homeschool for alot a reasons but the main reason is to protect our blessings from the falling world and they don't get sucked into the " world" and lose their propose. So many people just live and go with the flow of the world. and I struggle here with this because this is the battle im talking about in my head. Jeff hates that we gave Hannah a phone because its glued to her 24/7. We got her a phone so when they left the house she could call us if needed.wells turned into a non stop texting phone and he thinks she is to young.So we will cancel her phone and give her a track phone for when she leaves the house with out us. We have so many problems with obeying in this house and its not big stuff just backtalking and sleeping in until lunch etc... my littles are always screaming and not using their words and so on... we have alot to train on. So we take things away and don't allow sleepovers but some how I'm ALWAYS guilt ted into letting them have sleepovers. Drives me crazy I'm not respected enough around.I feel like im a child in my own ability to parent. WHY? I'm a strong headed big mouth in your face kinda person. Why is it when it comes to my kids and this I'm such a baby?Its time to grow balls and man up to this!

In the kitchen: I have beef stew in the pot and thinking of making bread.I wanted to start my day juicing but I haven't had time to leave the house to get a juicer just yet. So soda it is for me. I'm working on changing the way we do grocery's here. I spend around $1200 a month on food and diapers a month. So I bought a roasting pan and I'm going to roast turkey and chickens instead of buying nasty lunch meat every week. I spend alot every week on lunch meat and its so not healthy for ya. I'm working on simply changing all the junk we bring in this house and start really making the life change on living right.

I'm wearing: gray yoga pants and a t shirt with fuzzy blue socks :)

In the school room: Ethan finally wrote his name in order today! Huge moment for us.He has been able to write letters and knows what letters are in his name but he never was able to write his name right until this morning he was on the ball!!! Good job big guy! we are learning about Jamestown and the pilgrims. Today Cody and Chase are doing a science experiment with an egg in vinegar to see what happens to your teeth when we don't care for them right.Pretty cool! Hannah is reading about the Fall of Roman Empire. She is loven all she is reading and having alot of " light bulb" moments.We are using Abeka History of the World. neat for sure.

Out my window: the sun is shinning and breeze a little chilly.I love the fall soo much but I'm very ready for the snow.

I'm feeling: Overwhelmed with all my thoughts, Missing my husband badly and making plans for another trip to Indiana. Laura should sleep the whole way.Not sure what week we will go but thinking around Jolene's 2 birthday. I cant believe she will be 2!!!!

I'm reading: Exodus and Ezekiel. Amazing to read and re read!

Plans for the week: Tomorrow we have piano and library again. Basketball starts on the 28th. Bummed they wont let Hannah play.we do upwards and they didn't have any 7th grade girls sign up leaving Hannah all alone.They tested her and called me last week and said it wouldn't be fair to put her on a 6th grade team so they cant use her this year. COME ON 7 th grade girls where are you!!!!! Cody will be playing and is really looking forward to that.Last week we did field trips to the History Museum and Art Museum in st.Louis. Lots of fun and looking forward to go again next month.