The desire to be a super mom

I'm struggling with keeping up with my large family. Early weeks of being pregnant are in full swing and knocking me out.I HATE complaining but at least on my blog I know just about every one reading this has a large family and has been here done that so I don't feel bad.Im tired all the time.I also think that with my husband gone and only home for 18 hours is tuff on me because I have no help from him.Hes not here for me to lean on or to complain to and no one can make that up for him.Somebody else just wont do for me. I take my folic acid, vitamins and all my drops for my water but its not enough.Theres one day out of seven I feel like I did something.Its so hard to get up and get motivated to get everyone up and ready for the table. Then everyday its a total shock to my 9 year old that yes indeed you have to do English. Then I honestly struggle with him for about 2 hours everyday to get it done and we don't because he has won.We found him a tutor and im praying that will help.I know in homeschooling you cant " get behind" but you know your planner and you know where you should be and we aren't.I'm really looking into different curriculum's for English for him and maybe even Hannah.Rod and Staff is boring to him and its not colorful which is what he needs.If you have ever looked at or even tried Rod and Staff you know they are advanced and they really push the work.Which is great for the child who wired for that like my Hannah but Cody is more a chalkboard kinda kid and likes everything oral.I brought Easy grammar and I'm pulling sheets from that so the tutor can have those and I might just put Rod and Staff away for another child.Im also switching to Abeaka on just about everything for the new school year.We loved My fathers World but honestly it was kinda plain and boring also.I love the books you get with them but I feel ( as a history buff) we are missing out on US history and goodies like that.I have just about all the readers for history in Abeaka and we look through those and love them.I cant see spending another $400 on MFW when we just use them for alittle reading. I'm glad we tried it and I love tall the books we got with the first set and we know our maps and countries like the back of our hands now.But now its time for Us history and the men and women who shaped our country and made it what it is.I also use Abeaka Math on Cody right now and its the only math book we found out of many many currics that we really likes and does 4 pages everyday.Not that I make him do that many its because he likes it.He now is doing times and division like he knew it all along.we haven't gone past 3s yet but that's huge for a boy who hated math a few months ago and couldn't get long addition and now does it with out blinking.His reading is still a struggle but all kids have their time and we are getting there. I have also decided not to buy a kindergarten set for the boys this coming year. we have work books we get at the dollar store and those are great for early learner.I think reading out loud to your littles is the best thing you can do for them. READ READ READ. Get them involved in everything you do from laundry to cooking to bathroom cleaning to sharping pencils for the big kids.They learn the most from being your shadow( remember they watch your every move). I plan to take a 4-6 week break this summer and then hit hard core before the baby is born in the fall.Then we will take maybe 2 weeks off, only if needed. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow morning and hoping to see if theres one or two in there.I have belly that has popped like a basketball.I'm fat yes but this is now round and when I lay down its like a ball.I know its because I have had back to back babies for 4 years but theres always that chance with the more you have. and it runs in the family.I'm freaking out if it is.I like my single babies. I saw my sister do it and it was hard.Although she made it look so easy and had routine since the day she brought them room 6 years ago.Right after she had the twins she found out she was expecting again! He is now 5 and keeps her hopping more than the twins ever could! I love that little guy!My brother is also expecting their 4th baby in August.they thought for sure they were done and JD was the baby.But the Lord has other plans and those plans were to have another baby.Its really fun to have some one in my family due around the time I am because we always text each other funny stuff and compare everything. Kinda fun. we spent a week in Indiana last week and had skunk problem! He is living under the house over there and he SMELLS!!! makes a horrible screaming noise all night long keeping Jeff and me awake.The smell the day we left was so bad I thought for sure I was going to have to soak in tomato juice for weeks.It was bad. Jeff said he heard it again last night but it doesn't smell.That just means he is no longer afraid of the smell and its now a "normal" smell to him!!Gross!! we have had some really good mud fights with the kids since all my yard is solid mud. What else has been going on??? Well not alot beings I'm tired and I'm tired.Alot of nothing and I feel really bad about that.The kids are so good at watching movies now its sad :( we read alot but really I don't want to move alot and don't have a desire to clean,cook,help or anything.I know it will pass and I'm praying for that day to get here quick.
As usual my stupid blogger wont download my photos again!!!!

Dierks Bentley - Up On The Ridge

The early weeks

My husband and Jolene in the old house before Christmas

Chase made a really neat necklace for school Monday or maybe it was yeserday??he was so proud

Ethan made one too.it was a great project for them

we are snowed in again! we have under the new snow about 3 inches of rock solid ice that makes going outside a death wish.I love snow more then anyone I know but we have had snow it seem every other day all winter long.I still do love it but I ( we ) could use some nice weather for the kids to go play in.I have 5 kiddos who need the sun and fresh air so badly.yes they do out go and go sledding everyday but it would be great to sit in the sun and soak it up for hours on end.I got my first seed catalog in the mail and thought yeaaaa I cant wait.Then I looked out side to the huge amount of ice and thought "it will be awhile." The kids put some grass seed in little bitty pots on my kitchen window sill and we have grass growing!! We have a caterpillar friend in a bug house so we pot one of the grass pots in there for it and with in seconds we climbed in it and started eating the grass.we also have a ladybug in there who also made the grass his new home. Im really looking forward to have a flower garden and a huge veggie garden this year. I have been doing alot reading on it so Im hoping that will help.I will be huge and pregnant durning the summer so thankfully I have 2 older very hard working kids that will help and then 3 littles who im sure will want to help.We have snakes so bad out here Im a little worried about that.Come spring im getting a bunch of chickens to eat ticks and baby snakes.Growing up we always had chickens and not many snakes.Im looking forward also to getting a couple goats for milking.First my mom is going to put in a fence for out dogs and then we can work on the goat pen.I think once I hit 5 months I wont be going to Indiana as much because if we break down along the way im a sitting duck for weirdos. Just not worth it and I cant bare to think about that.So we are getting as much Indiana daddy time now as we can.Jeff also told me that come spring the will be working 7 days a week so this will be a huge challenge for us.

We have got alot of school done and today im just tired that as im writing this in my recliner with Chase refusing to get up.I have a million and one things to do but I have to keep reminding myself that Im still in the early weeks and this shall pass.I feel guilty for not getting up and cleaning and cooking etc.

WooHoo A blizzard!

Jolene and me playing the snow from a few weeks ago

• I was jolted from my bed at 4:30 this morning with this LOUD sound of my weather band Alert just buzzing like crazy.It was saying instead of the inch of ice with snow we are nowing going to get 12-24 inches of snow! if you know me and know me well you know this excites me like crazy! I have never seen snow that high.As much as I want to live in Alaska I can change my mind if MO can have winters like this every year Ill be good to stay :) My kids have never seen snow over 6 inches and it was just like 2 weeks ago we had that.they were thrilled and so was I.But they were hoping for a snow day off of school but you know im a mean teacher and I just laughed at them! we have been waiting for this since last Friday and we are all ready for. Food and clean clothes extra blankets and formula.Water filled every where just in case the power goes out because we do have alot of ice on everything out here. I took my shower at 5 this morning and did my dishes so if the power does go out at least Im clean and the kitchen is clean, well until the wild ones decide they need to eat.My husband is in Indiana with me stranded here by myself.I feel more sad for him far away and im sure they will close down his job for the week because they work outside up in steel pulling wires.So he will be there and ill be here wishing he was here to enjoy this snow with kids.Over here he is at they are getting mostly ice and that only means it will be longer for him to get home than if it was just snow.We wrecked one time going up there on ice and for the record he is NEVER to drive even for a short trip to the store allowed to drive on it again.Way to scary and never to happen again! Im so glad we are moved in the house to look out and see the white fields of pretty snow.Nothing like as open field and nothing around. well we do have a neighbor in front of us but they have a huge horse farm and thats what we look at is the horse in the morning when she lets them out to eat. Beautiful!! I love the fact my Littles can open the door and pee out off the porch and no one can see.I love the fact we have endless fields and a huge creek that runs along our backyard for the boys to play in with the puppies and friends.Cody loves to wake up and head straight down to the creek until its time to eat.


• Somethings Im thinking about as I sit here...


• I love being pregnant again


• I love my kids smile


• I love coffee with creamer


• i love talking to my mom in the morning


• I love hearing Jolene babble to me like she is telling me a great story


• I love my new house


• I love reading the bible before the kids wake up


• Seeing the snow come down reminds me of Little House


• I love teaching my children


• Im blessed!

Stuff around here

Where does the time go? oh yes I forgot I have children and we tend to stay busy! well we are in Indiana this week and heading home tomorrow. I hate leaving the husband but I havea ton to do at the new house its crazy.We got our new 8 man sectional delivered right before we left and I know its calling my name.The house is a wreck with boxes and pictures that need to be hung.we had a nasty water leak in my laundry room that caused major water in the basement and ruined my bamboo floor.we have to replace part of the wall and part of the laundry room floor.Nothing like seeing that problem when we have only been there 3weeks. BUT we got it fixed and now we must move on to clean up. Last week my sweet Chase turned 3 and I cried like a baby! He is still my baby and loves his mommy.Sleeps right next to me every night and loves to have his hand either up my sleeve or up my shirt and on my tummy. Im guessing that comes from when we was little we loved the skin to skin and that just stuck around with him :) Chase is my what Cody calls our professor. he is learning to label the USA and has down 4 states right now. the 4 states that mean the most to us... Missouri where we live, Indiana ,Illinois, and Montana.He loves to say Montana. He is so stinking smart! All my kids are smart! Last night we took the kids out for pizza and we get there and we found they had buy a large pizza for 6.99 and get 2 salad bars free.So we bought 3 pizzas and all the kids got to have some salad.With drinks and all we paid only 30.86 with 6 kids and 2 adults!! You cant beat that and we have a pizza and half left in the fridge for lunch today! Sweet! tonight im making pulled bbq chicken sandwiches from the crock pot and homemade fries. Today I must clean this house for the husband and pack our stuff up for tomorrow. While we were here we headed over to the library which my friends if you are ever over this way please stop by its by far the best one I have ever been too. we are doing a big unit study on US presidents and they had a suitcase yes huge suitcase full of Ab Lincoln stuff. Tin cups, bowls,gloves, books, print outs, pictures, chewing tobacco from that time, money from the 1800's, canteen, fabric you name its in there.So we get it for 2 weeks and then if we need longer she'll give me another 2 weeks if I call.Loven it! Then yesterday we went to our first knitting/crocheting class up there.Its for grades 3 and up but we had some many homeschoolers with littles they thought it would be neat to have all do it.So even Ethan and Chase got a hook and yarn and did what they could...you know make knots ;) The girls loved it. You would not believe how many awesome comments Cody got on his work! He sat down and whipped out his yarn and hook and took off while every one else watched him! they were so excited to see a boy his age know how to do that.Yes it was a proud moment for momma! They meet every other week now with yesterday being the first day.So how neat is that that it works with our routine of coming here! The women who teaches it gave a big hug and made him smile like crazy.he was proud of himself and thats just what he needed after the long week hard school with me.
well I must get in the shower and wake up kids who are still sleeping! Oh yes I also wanted to tell you bloggers we are expecting another baby!!!!!

Update :)

First I want to say I have no fear anymore.Why? Because my our Lord is amazing and knows how to wrap light around the ones who need the help.I sure did and found what I need and that was to leave my worry to Him and let Him guide me through this walk.I said in the post before I was a new believer but really I'm not.Its been years since I have started my walk with Jesus.This was just something new and different.So many paths to travel and so many stories in the bible that every time you read it, it means more and more to me and shows me a different meaning.

Ok so another homeschool week down and boy did we get alot done.Not so much for My fathers World but I will! Im having a hard time with finding a handwriting book for Ethan.I have tried just about every one out there and I found that using regular wide rule paper and writing his name for him and then him tracing it is the way we are going right now until I found the one we like. My friend showed me a book she got for 6 dollars that had alot of we need for Ethan and it had like 320 pages. So going to try that this coming week. Waiting for tax return time so we can order our year 2 in My Fathers World and K. I thought Id go ahead and do K with Ethan and Chase because they are so close in age and Chase follows right along with Ethan and the big kids.Looking for an audio program also for Cody.Something that will slow his reading down so he has to stop and sound words out instead of blowing past the word and not getting it.Its hard for him to focus so this program will be a must and needs to be found soon.If you have ideas or know of a company please let me!

Hannah for Christmas got a real camera from my Mom.She wants to be a photographer.So we headed out to the tornado site a few miles from my brothers house to take pictures.Now I dont have any pictures from her yet because I have to get them developed but I tool some so you can see what the mess looks like.This happened New Years Eve.The day I took all my children over to my parents house so Jeff and I could move into the new house.It was a crazy day with really warm weather and then it stormed like made. Tornado's everywhere and right in path.It was truly the craziest thing ever. 2 churches we totally destroyed and houses riped in half.cars had huge trees laying on them and trash hung in the tops of trees.It will take along time to rebuild that area.

Well my hubby comes home tomorrow for less than 24 hours again :( Im sure we will head up tp Indiana some time this week just not sure what day.We have a homeschool gathering we want to go to on Monday so we can see friends.Cody cant wait to see Alec and Jack! Its be along time! Much needed.Jeff works out in the freezing cold and still doesn't complain.I love the cold weather and would rather work in freezing cold than nasty hot sweaty crap! Unless there was a pool right next to me to enjoy at any time.( and not pay an arm and a leg to get in it). The house is so plain with no Christmas decorations in it so Im thinking we need Valentines ares and some snow flakes around here.That might be are craft for tomorrow.I better look some crafts up tonight......ok i cant get the pics to upload so ill show you all later sorry!!!

What a fear?

I'm full of fear and feel weak.After 2 weeks of pure weirdness not one person has posted a thing about the birds and fish dying.this week it hit close to home and that threw me off even more.Yes I know most every blog I read you have a deep relationship with Jesus and know with out doubt you are fine and protected.BUT what about people like me? people who are new to the walk with Jesus and have more questions than one person would like to sit through? I believe Jesus died for all and we are born sinners and that I'm saved.But that doesn't mean I don't get scared and need someone to show me here in the bible I find this and that.I'm scared like you wouldn't believe.the Pole shifts and crazy deaths of animals.Does the bible talk about this and if so where.I have done os much research I went into a panic and just could barely breathe.Does someone want to help and explain to me we are fine and God protects His children? Does the bible talk about the earth the changing so much that it wipes out everything again? Massive floods just took out a huge part in Australia,why? earthquakes all over the place.Yes I do know natural disasters happen all the time and with TV and Internet the news is out the second it happens so more is reported than ever before.I need someone to smack me and tell me things are fine and don't lie about it! I need to feel God claim me down and need to feel Him wrap me in His arms and feel protected.Right now I dont have that.why?I'm not sure.I have text ed my girlfriend a few many times asking questions and she is so calm and peaceful about it all.Someone please explain to me the happenings of the world and what the bible says about it!! Please dont tell me it the cycle of life or it happens all the time.I'm not stupid!
On a different note much happier note..... we are moved and relaxing( not really) in the comfort of our new big house. the husband has had no time to enjoy it.He gets less than 24 hours a week here and during that time he is moving boxes and (hem hemmm) spending time with me:) we decided not to over to Indiana this weeek as school is back in full swing and we need to get a routine going here.we have had many issues with E and needed to work on those.Not to mention the huge list of To Do's my sweet husband left for me.As soon as I got done with that list the Lord was showing me just what I needed to see.Snow. Yes lots and lots of snow. Its so pretty to see our land cover in a nice clean blanket of snow. The puppies love it and eat just like the kids! The puppies( Buzz and Batman) were so easy to train out here.They stay in our Field and front yard without much of a problem.they do see the neighbors horses sometimes and would love to run over but I'm on them like white on rice and they come running back down.Its so neat and nice to have land on all sides of us and not worry about people seeing us or hearing us.Truly what we needed.The first week here Cody got up early to get outside and grab his and had to the creek for a little exploring.He'd come back with mud up to his knees and just a smiling away.This is what that child needed.E went afew times and got muddy but after it got really cold it wasn't much fun!Ohh and let me tell you about my dinning room!! I have one now!! Can you see me smiling!!! Oh and I have school room!! Not the room downstairs as we are far from finishing the downstairs BUT my laundry room is reallllllly big so we turned the first half into my school room.I have 3 book shelves and a big table and all the chairs in there and still have room for the littles to play in there.So nice! So a few of my kiddos have to share a room for awhile until the downstairs is done but we are fine and know how blessed we are to have this house!We totally love every second of being here.We had our first few days of school and today was tuff!! But we made it and we are fine.Ready for tomorrow.We are still in week 19 with Kenya in My Fathers World.I thought we needed to reread that and go from there.Cody started up grade 3 pathway readers and boy was he excited to be on a new grade level for that. Hannah started her grade 6 pathway not because she is in that level of reading, shes better at reading than but she started back at pathway 6 because it has workbooks to go with it and I want to be sure they are getting what they are reading.And the stories out of these books are amazing for the kids and the littles love them too.I'm so ready for the homeschool conventions!!!